9-9-2021 2 pm pumpkin cream cold brew turbo shot

i love takis. i wanna taki to you on the phone. i don't know if it's menstrual blood or taki dust or both under my fingernails. i don't care what it is. i don't care if i clean it out. my hands are clean to the degree that it matters. someone once asked me if i respected anyone. i thought about it and they waited for me to answer.

emancipation from the scene, getting the game-winning killstreak, not having to worry anymore, being able to relax and enjoy an english muffin and tea. grabbing the ouroboros by the head and forcing it to actually taste its own ass instead of     like it does. the chase is harder than the catch. are you totally unremarkable or what. the same but different means we already heard it before. nothing new under the sun means even if something came down from the sun so what. yes something is missing. it's not new. when we get it we shouldn't be excited. someone should apologize if asked to.

if i have the opportunity to look in someone's eyes and communicate my hatred of them i will always choose that over violence. i could never kill someone i hate because then they wouldn't be able to feel how much i hate them every single day. how do you think otto warmbier died. guilt kills and people run from it their entire lives.

when people do shit for no good reason and are confronted about it they either: 1. weasel their way around the truth until people walk away cause they got shit to do, or 2. begin to stutter and cry and hold back the truth/admission of fault/admission of fucking around, or 3. ask for forgiveness and get it if they change, or 4. ask for forgiveness and keep doing shit for no good reason but more low-key this time.

historically, to be cancelled is to make a bad pop song and have a white gay brazilian 19 year old burn an effigy of you. historically, the guilty are innocent until proven. historically, feeling is first. historically, feeling cannot be deduced from media and instead it is all around you or somewhere else; the thing doing the feeling is not the organ of perception, it is judgement, which is something u put your whole body into, like drawing or dancing or striking someone. is judgement a type of violence? only if it needlessly hurts.

if one goes against ones better judgement, one fucks up somewhere along the path to the best judgement. the best judgement waits until it is called. the best judgement waits. the past and the present are right here and waiting and there is literally no future w/o the past and present bc... there they go. there they go again.

these quotes are from an earlier draft of this post, i quit being into philosophy a couple weeks ago, you should have quit 10 years ago

every thing is a tool and every one is a person and every more than one is a people and you will always be more than one and there's nothing new under the sun. no amount of magic will set you free. no amount of media will set you free. no amount of tools will set you free. no amount of buildings and enclosures will set you free. there will never be an escape, only reckoning and the best judgement just lying there waiting for you to talk to them whenever you want.

if you're not going to shit then get off the pot. if you're not going to shit you'll never lose weight. what we were born not-knowing the moment before we exited the womb. something you're always going to be in even outside of it