dodge demon diary
the only winning move is not 2 play
and u still win fucked up prizes
even if no one answers
fucked up questions r still asked
i've seen the ugliest thing. i've heard the ugliest word. i've felt the ugliest feeling. i've tasted the ugliest lamb. i've smelled the ugliest perfume. it made me more alive. it made me more afraid of death. it made me want to join the other team. i didn't think i needed a driver's license before, but now i know, i need to get out of here. i would kill myself before being co-opted, but then i couldn't stop them from co-opting me. so i guess we'll never know.
why do i drive a car very fast at night? speed isn't the right word. i have no interest in time. all i want to feel is force. have you ever felt like you were suddenly processing more than 24 frames of reality per second. when it happens to me i'm not really looking at anything in particular. im just seeing and feeling everything around me all at once. when i'm driving, fast, at night, when no one else is around, god materializes. god then materializes that which matters. i feel like karl marx during his deathbed DMT trip. he would have loved adderall, or maybe he would have hated it. he is dead, and virgil texas is alive.
the gears in a clock can get fucked up and run faster or slower than "proper" time. a computer's CMOS battery, if dying, can put your computer's internal clock out of sync with "proper" time. what good is a sundial if you're in sweden or whatever. i always think about rip van winkle. i always think about the flintstones cartoon i saw when i was little where barney is rip van winkle. i always think about the hyperbolic time chamber. i always think about my time in prison and how it felt like i had lived another childhood over the course of 2 years.
we're running on chemicals. my car runs on oil. my car could run on electricity, but electricity runs on coal. i heard electricity could run on nuclear energy. i have no idea how that works, but they told me nuclear things are bad cause of fukushima. but what made that tsunami so bad? they told me chernobyl was fucked up, but how come the peasants didnt kill lenin and stalin after the little revolution? i asked a DSA member i dated that a few weeks ago at a starbucks and we got into a big fight. i said i dont believe in vanguards, no one wants a bald twink telling them what to do. thats why i quit my job at barnes and noble and never looked back. she left and got a bus back to her place. we still talk just not about politics. we'll power through it. lifes too short
last night, i had a dream i crashed my car into someones house while they were recording a podcast about not masturbating and chewing falim gum. i killed their son who was sleeping in the other room. he apologized to his twitch stream and took his headset off and checked to see what happened. i woke up before i could see his reaction. but that morning i definitely felt sponsored by bluechew. "if you cant get pussy, subscribe to me on patreon," i thought while brushing my teeth with CREST 3D THERAPY+. i bought this toothpaste on recommendation from hard rock nick, who is my man in los angeles. he lives there for me. so i don't have to.
magic isn't real. only pussy is. i don't make the rules, nor do i follow them. i could beat anyone who wants to fight me in a fight, cause anyone who would want to fight me is a bitch. i hear things, i dont like what i hear but i hear them. i would rather not. i know i can't escape a world where what i hear can be heard, but i try because i can. LOL
