dreams i had and pictures i took in 2015

dreams i had and pictures i took in 2015
i had the same phobias as bam margera when i was in high school. now im just like "today's steve-o". 

i had a dream i was in the intro for lizzie macguire when i was 7 and hillary duff was tickling my chin or something. i never noticed i was in the intro until i went to go see one of my dad’s friends and their daughter for a holiday. me and their daughter had 8 children and we became painters. we were terrible parents too

dream about a "nietzsche audience"

high-fashion loving centaur who goes to lgbtq youth groups to prey on troubled boys. he makes them feel like he understands their problems but once they're in his home a man or group of men will give the centaur money and fuck the boy. the centaur realizes these boys are probably getting STDs but he doesn't care, he's getting money. the centaur's boyfriend doesn't like what he does, but he lives with it.

scar face would u kiss me
syringe playground & european city

he is almost home, he is shirtless for some reason and is seeing a lot of other people on the sidewalk now. he gets worried that someone might try and prank him from behind. he heard of a japanese prank called the "b-onstenn burn" where a person holds a lighter close to a shirtless person's lower back, making them feel uncomfortable and on edge.
he sees a group of people from japan behind him and is scared. he's very worried.
one of them attempts a b-onstenn burn on him but he turns around and swings his arm at them. them and their crew apologize and offer him a coffee. he asks if the cafe across the street serves shirtless white people. "no worries" as the them goes in and gets it for him. he does not have to go inside

went on a school-funded trip to brazil and all these little kids were swearing at us
i had to scrounge up $4.20 in coins to buy a combo meal at dairy queen and this girl i used to know in elementary school was there.
i sat next to a stranger at the dairy queen and suddenly images of assholes started appearing in my vision, actual assholes

it sucks that you like the color red, because fire is red.
dave tt and i pissed in the same toilet, both our streams were out of control and we pissed all over each other. dave tt threatened to murder me if i didnt eat a rat in front of everyone at the party

sees the plane crash on a tv in the laundromat

anime nerd in my class made me do heroin and look at her nude. she overdosed and died but i was accused of initiating the entire thing, i talked to a funeral director and he asked me about a wounded tiger’s foot being cut. i adopted a stereotypical accent and convinced him the tiger cut his own foot. it was humid

i go to a convenience store with an obese 12 year-old boy in hong kong - a lot of the brands in the store aren’t familiar. we always buy one snack together and leave. he seems to be roping me into this. last night, i bought a coca-cola.
as the convenience store owner was ringing us up, he told one of his employees to go get something from the back of the store. the employee brought out 100% ‘unfiltered’ colombian coca-cola. it was made up of white crystals, like salt. it wasn’t cocaine.
the owner said it was $65.55, but worth every penny. he gave me a free sample - it burned in my hand. the obese boy had money, so he bought a bunch and quickly put all of it into his mouth. i asked him if it tasted like coke, he nodded. two western women in the store witnessed what happened and were shocked, but they continued eating their food. we both ran out of the convenience store with our hands in the air, happy hardcore music was playing.

before i got out of the car, i told my friend it would be cool if  stephen colbert was on the back of one of the united states' coins. i  tried to go inside but some guy with a gun started firing at the air  near the entrance. the gunfire was very quiet, i bunnyhopped away from  him like in counter-strike.
i went to another store, i was shirtless for some reason. before i went  in, a woman told me they probably wouldn't let me inside. she took the  money i was going to use to buy snacks and guided me to her own roadside  store that she operated out of a shopping cart with two other women.  the cart was mostly empty. i bought a watermelon. i asked her for her  name and she told me to go away.
i was eating my watermelon on the way home, but it turned into grapes  when i approached a fountain. at the fountain, there were three brothers  wrestling each other and a very angry grandmother. the grapes didnt  know if they wanted to be blueberries or grapes. i kept eating them.  after watching the grandmother yell at her grandchildren for a while, i  looked behind her and found two naked tiny men. they were covered in oil  and i couldnt see them very well. i woke up.

i went on a trip to study a mexican urban legend about a fish with some expert on that matter. it started with me and him on a fishing boat. he tried to catch the fish first thing but caught a very large deformed avocado.
we went to a convienent store ran by a chinese immigrant to sell the avocado. while he was doing business i took some pictures of the store’s interior. fearing the store owner would catch me i tried doing it as fast as possible. the expert man snuck up behind me and kissed my ear. we left the store. two chinese shoppers said white people were really stupid on our way out.
the expert man pulled out two wooden sticks of different sizes and started performing “trick standing” as we were running to our next destination. he held the sticks out while running, like someone was going to walk into them and fall. it was to catch bears, i think.
a car almost runs me over while  i’m on the sidewalk. i foresee it and jump at the right time. it crashes into the building on the right of me. more cars start going crazy, we decide to take refuge in an empty lot surrounding the exteriors of a few brick buildings.
across the street is a promenade, across the canal behind it is a hotel. it is on fire. more and more cars pile into the lot. the police come to help us. i drop a little white plastic tank, i plan on picking it back up after this whole thing subsides. other people come to stay safe. the police give the expert and i snacks. he asks if i remember crustless sandwiches from my childhood, i say yes, he gives me one after a taking a bite from it. i eat around the bite. planes fly overhead, i think they’re going to bomb us, they just drop first aid kits.
a fight breaks out among the people in our group. people begin to leave the area, a girl in a leather jacket walks past me and tells me to have a good time. i decide to pick up my tank. i yell “this one’s mine!” and twist a thing on the cannon end of the tank. everything with an engine blows up. i become swae lee from rae sremmurd. no type starts playing. an attack helicopter comes down towards me. i say “holy shit!!” and wake up.
the previous dream i had before that was a virtual reality event hosted by marc maron and google. i think the dream above was all virtual reality. apparently what i experienced was simply a single episode in a series of VR documentary shows, all spanning 6+ hours.