you could just start a website

you could just start a website

speaking honestly, i feel pretty dumb for not saving up my unemployment checks and buying ethereum so i could have joined, (then by proxy), and minted NFTs when ethereum gas prices were reasonable and the markets weren't as competitive on or

i thought i was doing everything i could as a newly graduated art student in the age of coronavirus that didn't involve more education: i was joining the new models and interdependence patreons, i was participating in virtual raves, i was staying inside, i was supporting small businesses, i was lending money to people who weren't eligible for unemployment, i was washing my hands, i wasn't hanging out with anyone, i wrote-in bernie, i went to the protests, i got CIA-pilled - and you're telling me i was supposed to dickride american expat crypto people this entire time?

i can't say i didn't see it coming, i see everything coming, but i didn't know it would look so ugly up close, and it has struck me with terror, and my face is stuck this way, and i can only hope it won't feel bad when it hears me screaming.

where are we are in all this? i know a lot of us want to make dope shit, some of us want to change the world, some of us want to ease people's pain, some of us want money or powerful positions in an institution (because they want to manipulate young and/or naive people for sex). i think i'm in the change the world camp, because love 'is all you need' and 'saves the day' and 'train'. but the science of producing love and having it be felt by billions of people virally in a real and sustainable way is stupidly hard. making dope shit and relieving pain is slightly easier, and getting money and power is the chaos path totally dependent on random numbers or who your dad/childhood friend/brother/murder victim(s)/slave(s) is.

electricity usage notwithstanding or maybe withstanding, artists using crypto to give otherwise easily bootlegged digital art an authenticity is a nice dream. people who spend years learning how to shoot video or do motion design shouldn't have to look forward to only working on comission or having to ride a wave of content and "algorithms" and trends. contemporary mediums could be used to transmit meaningful shit and beauty and truth like how older mediums used to from ~1900-2001 and never any other time before or after. but it doesn't look like an escape from content will ever happen, and everyone will get their shit in and do an @midnight-esque riff on the NFT's place in art history.

some people who really needed money will get some money, but not me, because i don't have $60 to spend on fees. i never had the $35 to submit a painting to a local gallery show or the $300 to spend on a quantity of painting supplies that would allow me to fail better and improve at my craft.

i h8 being desperate, i don't like seeing people get the bag and become more successful than me because my life has sucked for a long time, and i see other people writing about how much their life sucks they're getting careers with it and that makes me bitter and a hater. then i try and i'm just crazy or whatever? that makes me a hater even more.

as more than one art school professor has told me, rule #1 of art: it's who u know. and i still did all 5 years. and then i didn't get into the lil miquela guy's discord. yeah i feel pretty stupid huh?